[Peter's been out and about, so Gwen's had their house to herself. Except she hasn't exactly been alone.
She thought she was going crazy, the first time she saw Peter. Her Peter. She blinked, rubbed her eyes, and he was gone. It hurt, because after everything, she still missed him. But then he came back. Again, and again-- to the point that she's almost used to seeing him.
Almost.
But as the time has passed from her meeting with Jerry, his visits are more frequent, lasting longer, and how he's talking to her. He's been droning on and on all day, but her patience is thinning, and she finally snaps.]
Oh my god, can you just stop? If I have to hear one more time about how I'm replacing you, or how I'm not the Gwen you knew, I'm going to figure out how to strangle your ghost throat. And if we're going to go on about how someone is the person you knew, what about you? Peter, what were you thinking? So I don't want to hear it. You picked power over me, and I can't ever forget that--
[Yeah, she doesn't even realize Peter might be arriving just in time to hear her explosion. She hasn't even told him about this yet, so. Surprise!]
(the moment he opens the window to come in, the words 'peter, what were you thinking' coming out of her. with his standard confused look, he opened his mouth to explain-- something, he has no idea, so the moment he thought to ask, she continues. oh. it's not him, it seems. peter didn't know she's been seeing things, so his level of worry went from mild to extreme as he comes inside. it's never something easy for them to talk about, he too happens to be a peter parker, he knows the implications of them and the ups and downs they'll undoubtedly face due to him not being the sole one.
at times, he does wonder just how similar he must be to her peter parker.
there's no hesitation to place his hand on her shoulder, knowing she knows he had arrived.)
Hey, you're... Uh, are you okay, Gwen? Have you been... Who are you talking to?
[It's not easy to sneak up on a spider-person, but when one is deep in expressing themselves to the ghost of their best friend, it gets missed. At least, Gwen didn't notice him immediately.
Normally, she would have known the second he was at the window, but he's already inside before her skin crawls as her spider-sense alerts her, and she freezes. She feels his hand on her shoulder, hears his calming words, but she suddenly can't find her own again. She crossed her arms defensively, avoiding his gaze for the moment.
He heard all of that, didn't he? Or.. enough. Shit.
It would be easy to lie. Make up something, anything, that could somehow explain those words away. But she knows he would see right through her. Even if they haven't known each other long, they know each other. He would know she was lying, even if she could come up with something convincing enough.
So she sighs, dropping her arms and finally turning to face him. She looks...tired. Her eyes might even be a bit red, but she'll deny crying if he dares to ask.]
It's...this sentencing. At least, I think that's what it is. I can't imagine it's not, given-- the circumstances. [There she goes rambling anxiously. She finally clears her throat, before trying again.]
I've... been seeing ghosts. Of the people I failed to save. But especially.. my Peter. I didn't think anything of it at first. I thought it was something in my eye, a trick of the light, but-- it's been getting worse.
('she's so tough' is the first thought that comes into his head, when her first instinct was to stand proud and tall. both of them know there's no reason to be so in here, but he can still admire how her head doesn't tilt down even when things are so hard on her right now.
it means his stance doesn't change either. his hand is still on her shoulder even when she doesn't look at him, as to say he isn't at all intimidated by the act. he's still here, as difficult to both as it is.
peter's hand doesn't drop even when the convo picks up. instead, he pulls her a little closer, an attempt at comfort.)
[Gwen didn't feel tough. This place has already been challenging, just for what it was, but this latest twist is hitting her hard. She hates feeling so anxious, she hates the stress and fear of what might happen if she doesn't please the Council, and now this? Now these ghosts are taunting her, reminding her of her failures, and vocalizing everything she was always afraid of--
When he pulls her a little closer, it's like she crumbles, and she falls into his arms, burying her face into his shoulder.]
Y..Yeah-- he is. ['I can't believe you.' 'Do you think he would really love you if he saw what a failure you really were?' 'At least Spider-Man didn't let his best friend die.' The whispers keep coming, and no matter how hard she tried to ignore them, she couldn't.]
I'm sorry. I-- I should have told you sooner. I just didn't want to worry you, any more than you already are.
(it's hard to come up with words. usually, he'd be blabbing, but right now, there's a gap on how he wants to put things - mostly because he'd be putting her in a spot of attention that she most likely wouldn't like, he presumes. it's... just that he's here. he can't be here if she doesn't tell him, and he doesn't mind doing so. he would always put her first, and that's something he believes she wouldn't like to hear right now.
even though he shows her. his arms wrap proper, as if his hug could protect her from the whispers, going as far as gently muffling the noise by placing his hand on her ear.)
You... Know it's not real, right? Whatever it's saying, it's not real. It's the sentencing, yeah? Just trying to punish you for something you didn't do. I know you didn't--...
Kill him, you know. I know this and you know this, you-- you're strong, and it's going to be over soon.
(he says with a firmness of certainty that he definitely does not feel. he can only hope.)
[It's honestly a relief to feel his arms around her, to feel the comfort and support of his embrace. She's relishing it, and his attempts to muffle her ears, even if it doesn't actually make a difference. It's just him being here that matters, she keeps telling herself, because she's lucky to have him. No matter what the voices kept saying, this is right. This is good. He's good. Peter is one of the best things that's happened to her.]
I-- I know. But it feels real. [Even if what he's saying isn't. That's not who Peter was. He wouldn't say such mean things to her. He wouldn't attack her with words and blame her things out of her control. Neither Peter would do that.
But it was all things she had thought before. All fears and moments of guilt where she doubted herself, and hearing it come from her best friend? That's what hurt the most. It was easy to brush off the media, but when it was her dad? When it was coming from the other people she cared about? It always hit different.]
I thought I could handle it. It wasn't... hard, at first. But each day, I just feel worse, and now this.
(there's always going to be a shadow of peter parker around them, whether she can see him with her eyes or otherwise. he knows that, at least a part of her, will never get over him, what happened, what she felt, what she feels - but it doesn't matter to him right now. what does is that she's protected against his chest, that he can be here, and himself, and both can walk the path of grief together.
he wouldn't have it any other way. his lips kiss the top of her head, as a soothing attempt.)
How... How... Is the sentencing going? I think it'll keep getting worse until it's done. I think... They know, you know? That you push people away. That you're scared. I just don't know what they are trying to do with this - shouldn't it make it worse?
[She could stay like this forever, honestly. Wrapped in his arms, pressed into his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart beating. It helps calm her, as does the feeling of his lips pressed on the top of her head. It grounds her, helps her focus on the here and now, not what was haunting her in the far corners of her vision.]
Okay, I guess? I'm...trying. [She's been opening up to a few people, but the sentence is so vague, she's not even sure to what extent they mean? Deepening connections could mean anything. But being open and honest seemed to be a good starting point, even if she's already messed up by withholding her ghost problem from him.]
I had... an idea. I'm not sure if it's stupid or not, but I thought maybe having a game night? Invite our friends, STEM club, maybe even TWAT club?
(his breathing is steady, slow, almost like he's trying to get her to breathe with him, one draw of air at a time. he's not rather calm, it's hard to be when he's bearing witness to her pain and panic, but the breathing helps - perhaps the both of them.)
Yeah, no, I know.
(this was a start - them. knowing how hard it must be, to shelter from pain, and to open herself to this possibility. it makes him wonder what they will do to him, once his time comes. if it comes. when it comes. the fact they know absolutely nothing doesn't soothe.)
Hey, that's super cool! I think that could definitely work, right? Also, look, saying 'friends' already sounds like a huge thing, from where you started, right?
[It was hard enough, trying to get through this anxiety and ghosts. The last thing she needed to think about was what they might do to Peter. She might join Jim with his idea to raid the Council's Chambers looking for Jerry, honestly. It didn't matter so much, what they were doing to her, but she couldn't bear the idea of them hurting Peter.]
Right? I don't know what stupid versions of our games they might have here, but who knows. We could probably find something fun. Maybe I can even drag you into Dungeons & Dragons. [He's right, though. Just the fact that she can admit to a good handful of people she considers her friends...it's a big deal, compared with where she came from. She's grateful for all of them, but especially Peter.]
(there's not so much that can be done this very instant, aside from letting her steal warmth, from gently pressing his hands across her back as a caress, and calming her. perhaps secrets, untold things might become a habit in their relationship, but this is not something he is concerned about right now.
he too wouldn't want her to worry about him. he can understand that.)
That's, like, the nerdiest thing you have ever said, and I've seen you do chemistry.
[She doesn't want secrets to be a part of their relationship, but she doesn't want to hurt him, either. Trying to protect his feelings is what got her where they are now, but whether she had told him sooner or not, it wouldn't have made a difference. She would still be plagued by ghosts.
She just didn't want him to feel like he was second best. That he was just a rebound. Yes, it was weird and confusing and convoluted by the fact that she knew a Peter Parker in her own dimension, but she didn't have what they had with her Peter, either.]
Oh, shut up. [She nudges him slightly, a small smile appearing on her face again, but she doesn't move from his embrace yet. She needed this, more than she realized.]
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She thought she was going crazy, the first time she saw Peter. Her Peter. She blinked, rubbed her eyes, and he was gone. It hurt, because after everything, she still missed him. But then he came back. Again, and again-- to the point that she's almost used to seeing him.
Almost.
But as the time has passed from her meeting with Jerry, his visits are more frequent, lasting longer, and how he's talking to her. He's been droning on and on all day, but her patience is thinning, and she finally snaps.]
Oh my god, can you just stop? If I have to hear one more time about how I'm replacing you, or how I'm not the Gwen you knew, I'm going to figure out how to strangle your ghost throat. And if we're going to go on about how someone is the person you knew, what about you? Peter, what were you thinking? So I don't want to hear it. You picked power over me, and I can't ever forget that--
[Yeah, she doesn't even realize Peter might be arriving just in time to hear her explosion. She hasn't even told him about this yet, so. Surprise!]
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at times, he does wonder just how similar he must be to her peter parker.
there's no hesitation to place his hand on her shoulder, knowing she knows he had arrived.)
Hey, you're... Uh, are you okay, Gwen? Have you been... Who are you talking to?
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Normally, she would have known the second he was at the window, but he's already inside before her skin crawls as her spider-sense alerts her, and she freezes. She feels his hand on her shoulder, hears his calming words, but she suddenly can't find her own again. She crossed her arms defensively, avoiding his gaze for the moment.
He heard all of that, didn't he? Or.. enough. Shit.
It would be easy to lie. Make up something, anything, that could somehow explain those words away. But she knows he would see right through her. Even if they haven't known each other long, they know each other. He would know she was lying, even if she could come up with something convincing enough.
So she sighs, dropping her arms and finally turning to face him. She looks...tired. Her eyes might even be a bit red, but she'll deny crying if he dares to ask.]
It's...this sentencing. At least, I think that's what it is. I can't imagine it's not, given-- the circumstances. [There she goes rambling anxiously. She finally clears her throat, before trying again.]
I've... been seeing ghosts. Of the people I failed to save. But especially.. my Peter. I didn't think anything of it at first. I thought it was something in my eye, a trick of the light, but-- it's been getting worse.
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it means his stance doesn't change either. his hand is still on her shoulder even when she doesn't look at him, as to say he isn't at all intimidated by the act. he's still here, as difficult to both as it is.
peter's hand doesn't drop even when the convo picks up. instead, he pulls her a little closer, an attempt at comfort.)
... Is he telling you stuff, Gwen?
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When he pulls her a little closer, it's like she crumbles, and she falls into his arms, burying her face into his shoulder.]
Y..Yeah-- he is. ['I can't believe you.' 'Do you think he would really love you if he saw what a failure you really were?' 'At least Spider-Man didn't let his best friend die.' The whispers keep coming, and no matter how hard she tried to ignore them, she couldn't.]
I'm sorry. I-- I should have told you sooner. I just didn't want to worry you, any more than you already are.
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(it's hard to come up with words. usually, he'd be blabbing, but right now, there's a gap on how he wants to put things - mostly because he'd be putting her in a spot of attention that she most likely wouldn't like, he presumes. it's... just that he's here. he can't be here if she doesn't tell him, and he doesn't mind doing so. he would always put her first, and that's something he believes she wouldn't like to hear right now.
even though he shows her. his arms wrap proper, as if his hug could protect her from the whispers, going as far as gently muffling the noise by placing his hand on her ear.)
You... Know it's not real, right? Whatever it's saying, it's not real. It's the sentencing, yeah? Just trying to punish you for something you didn't do. I know you didn't--...
Kill him, you know. I know this and you know this, you-- you're strong, and it's going to be over soon.
(he says with a firmness of certainty that he definitely does not feel. he can only hope.)
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I-- I know. But it feels real. [Even if what he's saying isn't. That's not who Peter was. He wouldn't say such mean things to her. He wouldn't attack her with words and blame her things out of her control. Neither Peter would do that.
But it was all things she had thought before. All fears and moments of guilt where she doubted herself, and hearing it come from her best friend? That's what hurt the most. It was easy to brush off the media, but when it was her dad? When it was coming from the other people she cared about? It always hit different.]
I thought I could handle it. It wasn't... hard, at first. But each day, I just feel worse, and now this.
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he wouldn't have it any other way. his lips kiss the top of her head, as a soothing attempt.)
How... How... Is the sentencing going? I think it'll keep getting worse until it's done. I think... They know, you know? That you push people away. That you're scared. I just don't know what they are trying to do with this - shouldn't it make it worse?
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Okay, I guess? I'm...trying. [She's been opening up to a few people, but the sentence is so vague, she's not even sure to what extent they mean? Deepening connections could mean anything. But being open and honest seemed to be a good starting point, even if she's already messed up by withholding her ghost problem from him.]
I had... an idea. I'm not sure if it's stupid or not, but I thought maybe having a game night? Invite our friends, STEM club, maybe even TWAT club?
[That's a good bonding thing, right?]
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Yeah, no, I know.
(this was a start - them. knowing how hard it must be, to shelter from pain, and to open herself to this possibility. it makes him wonder what they will do to him, once his time comes. if it comes. when it comes. the fact they know absolutely nothing doesn't soothe.)
Hey, that's super cool! I think that could definitely work, right? Also, look, saying 'friends' already sounds like a huge thing, from where you started, right?
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Right? I don't know what stupid versions of our games they might have here, but who knows. We could probably find something fun. Maybe I can even drag you into Dungeons & Dragons. [He's right, though. Just the fact that she can admit to a good handful of people she considers her friends...it's a big deal, compared with where she came from. She's grateful for all of them, but especially Peter.]
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he too wouldn't want her to worry about him. he can understand that.)
That's, like, the nerdiest thing you have ever said, and I've seen you do chemistry.
(he loves it.)
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She just didn't want him to feel like he was second best. That he was just a rebound. Yes, it was weird and confusing and convoluted by the fact that she knew a Peter Parker in her own dimension, but she didn't have what they had with her Peter, either.]
Oh, shut up. [She nudges him slightly, a small smile appearing on her face again, but she doesn't move from his embrace yet. She needed this, more than she realized.]